Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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