my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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