false alarm. still invincible.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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