I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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