i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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