On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
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Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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