If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize