Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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