covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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