We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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