In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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