Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize