Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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