Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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