I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize