She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My liver just broke up with me...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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