jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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