your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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