I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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