some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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