Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
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I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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