haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dicks are not precious.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize