its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize