He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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