if you like me you must not know who I am
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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