You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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