Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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