We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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