Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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