Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize