Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize