If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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