I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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