Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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