so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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