I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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