I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So vagazzling was a success
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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