I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize