Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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