You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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