Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have tasted many bathrooms
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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