I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize