I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize