im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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