No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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