Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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