She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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