when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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