Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize