dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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